You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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