...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
