I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
