first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
is that a dick in a sweater?
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