I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
