party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
