Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
