wanna go halves on a baby?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
