I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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