i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
