You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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