Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
