Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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