Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
