I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
