I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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