It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
this boner is exhausting
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
