Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Randomize
