She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
