while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
