I'm going to jail i love you
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
