So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
two words: eviction party
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
