return my video game
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
A+ Viking dick
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
dude. I can hear the air.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
