I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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