how can u be prego again
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
