only if we run a train.
done.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
