He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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