Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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