I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
