someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
