I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
