She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
A+ Viking dick
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
