So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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