Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you had me at cake vodka
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
