so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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