she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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