Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
