Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
