Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
