there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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