should my penis look like a turkey
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
