i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
