Sry I called you an 8
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We need to feng shui this bitch.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
