You're earring is so big in my mouth
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
