Only a mothe r could love this liver
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I could make wine with my vomit
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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