dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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