They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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