I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
