i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
