I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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