Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
