remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
